Marriages in Punjab
As in every society, Punjabi society has its traditions to mark every stage of life from birth to death. Perhaps no other life-event is more surrounded by tradition than marriage.

Throughout India, most marriages are arranged by the couple’s families and a generation ago it was not uncommon for bride and bridegroom to meet for the first time at the marriage ceremony itself. Nowadays, the personal preferences of the young people are given greater importance and families accept the children’s’ wish to get to know the potential spouse before making a commitment. Given the fact that marriage in India represents a very strong, lifetime commitment and society accepts divorce only in the most extreme circumstances, this is a very understandable wish.  

After the young people have made up their mind to marry, the first step is a simple ceremony called rokai or thaka. The girl’s father, accompanied by some friends and relatives, visits the young man’s house and presents sweets and a small gift of money. The engagement ceremony, or mangani, takes place when the boy’s family returns the visit and in the presence of friends and relatives the intended marriage is announced. Prayers are said at this time, and the couple exchange gifts.

The wedding itself is a grand affair stretching over several days and attended by all the relatives and innumerable friends. For nights before the ceremony, women gather to sing and dance. The bridegroom’s entourage, the barat, has its own customs to observe – more singing and dancing, decking up the bridegroom, tying a sort of ornamental veil, the sehra, over his face, leading him in procession, often on horseback, to the marriage venue to the accompaniment of a brass band. Milani is the ceremonial welcome of the barat at the gate of the marriage venue – more gifts change hands with the bridegroom’s family on the receiving end. Feasting is on a lavish scale.

The Hindu bride and bridegroom along with their parents will sit around the sacred fire while pandits chant the marriage mantras. They are deemed to be married after they have walked around the sacred fire lawan phere. The Sikh couple will sit before the holy book, the Guru Granth Sahib, while prayers are said and the granthi instructs them on the duties of marriage; finally they will walk around the Guru Granth Sahib. Prasad, a buttery, wheat-flour based sweet, is distributed to all present and signals the completion of the ceremony.

After this, both Sikh and Hindu weddings are marked by more feasting. The concluding item is doli, literally "palanquin", when the bride is given an emotional send off to her new home and family. More ceremonies await the bride at her husband’s home but the main extravaganza is over. Another point of difference between Hindu and Sikh marriages is that Hindu marriages are usually performed at night, while Sikh marriages are performed in the morning.

A sect of the Sikhs, the Namdharis, as an article of faith, marry very simply and often in ceremonies where many couples are married at the same time. The parents of the boy and the girl settle the marriage but the approval of the head of the Namdhari sect is essential. Unlike Hindu and conventional Sikh marriages, dowry is not a part of the Namdhari marriage and the couples are dressed in simple white clothes. The scarves worn by the girl and boy and knotted together, and hymns from the Granth Sahib are sung.

A trend seen in recent times is to go through the procedures of the Indian Civil Marriage Act. 1956, after the traditional marriage has taken place. This is usually done because the couple plan to migrate to a foreign country and the civil marriage is useful in the matter of getting passports. The civil marriage is also frequently preferred by couples who belong to different castes or religions, or sometimes when they simply want to avoid a very costly and ostentatious ceremony.